uxii is not a journal

!!.

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 20:21:53 GMT

Well im inbetween
mediums.

Check out my myspace
i might stop this LJ
thing.

xx.http://profiles.myspace.com/users/11276601

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 21:57:43 GMT

im pretty phyked about the vermont trip on friday and the other night i got to preview the new fullbleed stuff from dobi.. awsome. everyone go check it out when its up fullbleed.org. Im kinda sick right now and have been since Friday but thats okay. I got lots of stuff to do and have to get alot of stuff ready for mugshots. I still need to take a trip to the AC race track and take pics. so umm my love life aint that exciting, guess im waitng for the right girl. boring right. my house just suffered a major cat-tas-trophy. our washer line with all the water in it that usally goes out of the house came through the window and flooded out washer and dryer room, i shoul help but instead im on LJ. im out.

well

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 02:44:59 GMT

My emotions are up and down.
Im all over the place.
I took lots of pictures today,
Jermey and His family came
over for dinner, I went over
his house and broke his lamp.
fck yeah. Okay Mack Daddy,
You Should IM ME- xdiscocore.

<3

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 07:50:19 GMT

well, new year. 2005. 2 in the am. god, well to make a short story shorter I went over Jaimees for New Years Eve. I was nervous as hell, not suprising, im always nervous around her. So like I went over there and had dinner with bunches of her family, Amanda was over. So like, It was awsome. Jaimee is so pretty. Hmm, I guess everyone already knows how I feel about all of that, so I dont have to talk about it. So many people use LJ diffrently than I do, I really use my LJ as my Journal wich is Truth.I dont want to go back to school and the Lies,Deception, and Difficulties. Im going into school with one thing in mind, College, Knowledge. I just want to go to New York for College. An Art College in Manhattan Preferably.Huh, 2005. I think this year im gonna have a real band. Summer Ambition, thats what the name of the band is. Im on Guitar, And all I meed is a Vocalist. I could Do it. Im gonna get rid of all my entries up until Chritmas. Its a New Year. New Life. New Years Resalution= A GF, Loose Weight, Go places with Mucick, Do Good things For People. So im gonna Sleep soon. TTYL F*CKERS.

never gonna forget this christmas.

Tue, 28 Dec 2004 17:12:21 GMT

omfg. so this christmas is probably the best one ive ever had. i dont know the weeks leading up to christmas i was all really happy. well most of the time, for anyone who knows me i can be pretty punky and moody. on christmas i felt all little kiddish again, i was sooo damn happy. i saw that there was a ton of presents under the tree. im gonna make a list of what i got.
x Laptop
x Digital Camera w/ printer (Here i come world open for digital canvas)
x 512mb MP3 Player
x Family Guy DVD
x Texas Holdem Poker Set
x Clothes from PacSun,Heartcore,Fullbleed
x more random awsome items
So like i got the laptop from my dad on our early christmas. that was OMAZING.this is omazing. everything=omazing. so like i feel alittle sick now. school is starting soon. so like boo hoo. i have so many projects to do and stuff. better get working. alright. im out. peace.

the niceness of the holidays

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 01:17:52 GMT

wow, christmas cheer? this is odd. but it snuck up on me and now i have it. greeat. fastforward to sunday. what a greak freaking day. anthony was over from the night before. and like we checked out the old race track and explored it thouroghly. god, i swear that that thing is full of homeless junkies. nice eh?? it is in ruins. so like that night after getting done playing with age old fireextinguishers in open areas, i felt it was necessary to go back to my dads apartment and go smellabrate christmas. so like "FEASANTS".. thats pry what you want to hear. what i got. well, i got alot of guitar stuff that i appreciate greatly. but then there was one box left so i sat there and admired the bow, and it turned out it was a laptop. crazy. this sucka is awsomeee!!!!!<33333. i love my dad. so thats whats up.

ima scenester.

Sat, 18 Dec 2004 16:04:52 GMT

alright. im gonna vent. congratulations world, youve actually broken me down enough to care about scenes. something ive never really cared about is scene, whether it be goth,punk, emo whate have you. and now its an issue. alright im just gonna give you the rundown on my SCENE life. and my reasons. so you cant im so emo,or so goth, or so gay. starting october of 2003 i started "goth". goth, ooowwieee. i was down, really really down beacuse of what i was going through in my home life. mother,father,police,drugs,money, and christmas. i dont need to go into that much detail. also i meet jaimees brother johnny. oooohh. he listened to all kmfdm, nin and shit. so i started getting "more" into that kind of music and feel into a phase of black and morbid thoughts. not say that i didnt listen to nin before than. but before i get any deeper into all of this, you need to know, the reason, the biggest reason, above all was "ATTENTION". i wanted attention cause maybe i felt unloved.i dont know. so it stayed that way, and stuff happened. then hits the summer, schools starting to go out. YAY! now comes "scene change" number two. look alot of things started to get me into this whole "emo scene" this whole "indie scene". influence number one, mikey, everytime i would come over his house he would be playing finch, or like TBS, and id be like, ewww to soft, fag, nasty. so like, i think i was lying to myself. music was great. again, i was listening to this kind of music in small doses before then. another reason would probably be i feel in love. ha. im not going into deatail. but i had been writing lyrics about love, politics, and more. and its like, ??wtf??. isnt this what i hate. isnt this what i dont like. well f.u.c.k. so it looks like i kinda got tired of 70 pounds of bondage pants, and not feeling true to myself. so like i changed clothes. basically. now to this day, im wearing something that feels write and true. well kind of. i still sometimes feel like a fake. but whatever. thats only beacuse i let the world get to me. so now i get confused for gay, and being a girl. im neither. but before i go, i never changed for a girl. even though sometimes i think i might of i dont think i did. so that truth. thats what i have to say. thats it.

f*** me

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 20:41:30 GMT

well, today was boring. had to figure where to part my stuff to in my pants. hahaha. fun stuff. so like today was cool. jaimee totally got her cookies today. and a note... .so like i gues im sad and crave some fun. god i wish i had a) a car b)a life c)lucky charms. so yeah.

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 02:07:32 GMT

no time to lj. call or im me if you really wanna talk. christmas is soo freaking crazy

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 23:55:42 GMT

its been awhile since ive last ElJayed. Friday, i really forget what happened but i think i remember going to the mall. so i think thats what i did. with anthony. ?! maybe. wait, i went with melissa and ant to the mall. then saturday everything went to hell. parents. ugh. like long story. if you know me you already know it. and if your one in onethousand that was at the mall that day when i recieved all those calls, then you know it. skip all the bad stuff. i ment to the mall and met amanda and emma like a bagilion times. weird shit. and then sunday night i talked to jesus on a two way radio until monday. nice. okai. well llamas to all of you.
SUARKRUAT!!!WAA!

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 01:19:31 GMT

fact:
i once wore dog collars
and give anthony micheal
full credit fore it. so f..k
you posers. and emo is
a joke.

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 23:44:24 GMT

i have a lisp.
i have no braces.
i have a crush.

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 00:31:24 GMT

im getting my braces off on thursday now.
huh, today is a fatelvis day.
Im to vein for myself
i updated pictures on myspace. http://profiles.myspace.com/users/11276601

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 01:44:30 GMT

i just found a friend
and now i want something more
words a worthless
while im slipping through and open door
are poems not that easy
sometimes i think i need something more
out of this life
im a textbook whore
and a notebook hero
cursive writing over soda stains
and broken thoughts
somewhere out there
so far out there
maybe she'll come to me
but until then
these are left here
my notebook
my home
my sanctuary
and my cremator

wow, way to much emo music
does that to you. but its not a
lie.

werd up

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 03:34:09 GMT

hey there. Turkey Day was fun, and tommorow, i get my braces off, whoopie. I updated the picture, so yeah. I guess now alot of people can veiw. so anyways. not much to say. ill write alot tommorow since im taking the day off. byebye.

Subject, null and void

Sat, 20 Nov 2004 06:29:25 GMT

Since im am the attention whore that i am, im gonna write. Today was nice, i was kinda hyperactive and said some stupid stuff througout the day but other than that i was...happy... thats like taboo if you compare that to alot of the entries i have. speaking of wich, i deleted alot of entries, they were pointless and sweared alot, im in rehab, seriously. So, im thinking about making a book of all the drawling,poems,stories, essays ive written to myself for clouser and typing them up into a collection, i think that would be rad. I made a 5 page christmas list, lmao, and im currently looking for great mp3 players. Anyways, got aimless stuff to do, so ill talk later.

ello

Thu, 18 Nov 2004 02:07:31 GMT

ello world. Well today i was really hyper, i order the coolest stuff from HeartcoreClothing. http://www.heartcoreclothing.com/hcc_files/htd.jpg and http://www.heartcoreclothing.com/hcc_files/cryingeyesteelogo.gif . Nice Eh? I was an asshole to most today, i tried to hang myself with melissa's rabit fur scarf. lol. So yeah, i want to loose 25 pounds and be morbidly skinny. thats my lifes ambition, and ive been saying that for months. i think im just gonna stop eating eh. So yeah, i talked to jaimee on the phone, thats cool. Hmm, im gonna go ill say something interesting another day.

How Dirty Am I

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 23:54:20 GMT

Wow, today was completely miserable, yet, hilarious. ha. today, i got really philosophical and was just pissed. I wrote two pages on human nature wich will posted at a later time. I think that i really realized alot of stuff today. But also, not to get to deep in thought, today was day six, of me wearing the same pants. i have been wearing the same pants for six days strait, they were washed once, on saturday, other than that. same pants. yes. I learned how to play New American Classic, Cute Without The E(Cut From The Team) from TBS, and "The Queit things that no one ever knows", "Gurenica" by Brand New on my guitar. Yay. This love thing, f*ck it.

emotastic

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 02:18:08 GMT

i have little pieces of cake stuck in my keyboard. ha.

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 20:46:17 GMT

... so kill me qucik? what the hell is that from. cause it really starting to bug me out and get in my head. i know its a song, is it brand new? TBS? i dont know. em, school is alright. well no its not, its a horrible social melding pot, and im dealing with it okay, if you cared. everyones changning, well "she" isnt. yes i think were just gonna call her "she". "she" is still delovley. i think im changing, i want to get rid of the worst parts of myself, so to bad for the people who like me for it. its like self genocide, or innerself social cleansing. whatever. im gonna go listen to music. <3? frirka frak.

....

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 02:29:47 GMT

John Kerry Me.

Sat, 30 Oct 2004 19:33:54 GMT

I DELERTED IT.
Linus of Charile Brown Has Tuaght me never to bring up Politics,Religion, or The Great Pumpkin with friends.

Florida and Such

Wed, 13 Oct 2004 23:20:44 GMT

i just got back from Orlando Flordia way late last night. it was freaken omazing. So the tripp whent like this... We took a flight to Ft. Myers FL and visted with my cuzzins.... me and my dad did.... that was fun... we staided there for like em 2 days.... and then we drove to Orlando Fl and whent to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure...it was Omazing Omazing Omazing.... Me and My dad whent on every Thrill ride and movie ride we could.... The Holloween night was Gruesomly Great too... So yeah... We had to run to our flight...and we missed it.... we finnaly arrived home at about 2.30..ohman...me and my dad rawked UNIVERSAL STuDIOS.. so yeah... today was ghoull i went to skool at 11am... ha... .... so yeah.. and as of now im having a greet time talking to Jaimee.... <3her... so yeah... im gonna go do something...

hells yeah

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 10:08:14 GMT

...well much has been going on and fall seems to be looking up for me... starting with friday, i went to mikeys party and descovered he had friends. Everyone was awsome, there were actually girls there. not many, but still, girls at mikeys party? whoa. We didnt even know if mikey was strait. J.k. mikeys kool. So we all chilled in his basment, umm, i played guitar, and we all played DDR. So yeah, we played manhunt and then, the 5/0 chased mikey and his team. Rawlf. or soo they say. Anyfuck, after his party mikey came to my house and he brought his DDR pad and some games. We Rented Silent Hill 4, it rawked. Umm also on sat we went to the mall and to this computer hub, for about an hour. The Computer hub sucked, the computers and games were great but the service and networking sucked. I accidently got porn on my screen and got almost got in mucho troble by the people running the place. So yeah, its like 6am and ive got to be off to school. Sunday was boring. Umm... i saw shuan of the dead last night, Rocked so Fukken Hard. GTG. <3 FU**eR SS

blah

Wed, 29 Sep 2004 01:19:34 GMT

blah blah blah...i could tell you a whole bunch of aimless bullshtuff but ill spare you that. i could tell you my emotions, but who wants to here me whine. eh, so blah. ill leave you with that. blah.